I had everything.

Capable of no influenced entropy,

I had arrived.

The knowledge of libraries didn’t compare to my reasoning. Every season marked the new beginning of all but me for my accomplishments

Had amounted to

Potentials end.

I pushed the world away,

And bitterly mocked its fraternity of


Yet I was lacking.

Fixed on a trance of a savior’s destiny, I sought to be a conduit to God.

And they would applaud my intentions.

I convinced my self that conventions were nigh as the hand of the almighty.

But through circumstances divine

The almighty moved against

Me with his hand.

My trance realized as a foolish game…

And the only shame was brought to my name

Branding me with the stench of my pride.

I had nothing left but what God had left me,

And in recognition; I was set free, given  a second chance, to abide in his will.

For seven years I had been waiting and wondering pondering

If my stumbling was to great



For no vision or plan

Had relieved the suffering of

Bringing disdain

To his name.

Until I came on bended knee in acceptance of the power of me:

There was not I could do for even myself for the books in my library were unread,

And my actions screamed my faith as dead.

And yet from the instant my soul cried, and angel

Was sent to my side

To enlighten a humbled soul.

In believing myself to be once again whole…

I set faith and hope as my compass.

I took refuge in thought and history but my soul was wrought for the angel was silent still.

There is comfort in knowing God stands beside you and the screaming took solace of this fact,

And in a still small voice

The angel spoke to me

Fulfilling what I lacked.

It continues to temper in thoughtful patience despite the patience it takes.

For every lesson widens my eyes to what is at stake,

But the greatest epiphany

I’ve been shown defines the actions I must make.

It redefines my present,

By erasing my past like the wind casting grass to and fro.

For I am nothing more than that, if I have not love,

My actions are meaningless, though they are faithful.

Though all knowledge surpasses the stars in the sky;

Ungrateful are the recipients,

And bitter is the taste

If not given in love.

Though hope is the essence of all reconciliation love is the consolation of commitment…

And to this end the angel spoke

Displaying what it said.

For I was brought closer still.

Reconciliation with the dead.

And I understood even more because I had been told that my knowledge equaled nothing,

A concept cold

But warmth unfolded about me.

And so with selfish infatuation

I pleaded with the angel

To stay, To teach me all that it knew,

To form me like clay.

But God was not done with me for his angel was not him

And I had mistaken the creation

For the creator once again.

God’s presence was still about me,

Removing any doubt of his love,

But the angel could never touch this earthen vessel forcing me to ever look above for true love.

And though it took sacrifice everlasting…

I finally have everything.

Published by Josh McGary

MY NAME IS JOSH MCGARY. First, I am a Pastor of a small church in Portland, Oregon named Aletheia Bible Fellowship. We call it ABF. I have been a pastor there for the better part of 20 years. I am very eclectic. What I love, I love loudly and immersively. I have notable collections of toys, funko pops, and vinyl. I also infamously love pop culture, comic books, technology, the arts, psychology and philosophy.

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