“Then Jonathan told David, “I promise by the Lord, the God of Israel, that by this time tomorrow, or the next day at the latest, I will talk to my father and let you know at once how he feels about you. If he speaks favorably about you, I will let you know. But if he is angry and wants you killed, may the Lord strike me and even kill me if I don’t warn you so you can escape and live. May the Lord be with you as he used to be with my father. And may you treat me with the faithful love of the Lord as long as I live. But if I die, treat my family with this faithful love, even when the Lord destroys all your enemies from the face of the earth.” So Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, saying, “May the Lord destroy all your enemies!” And Jonathan made David reaffirm his vow of friendship again, for Jonathan loved David as he loved himself.”
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1 Samuel‬ ‭20‬:‭12‬-‭17‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This passage, though often prooftexted for nefarious purposes, does illustrate what real love should look like. Indeed, the passage calls back to the statement of Jesus in regard to love. His teaching is clear that we ought to love our neighbor as ourselves. This is the way in which Jonathan loved David. Here we see a true friendship illustrated. Notably, that friendship bears no mark of eroticism. This is an unfortunate point that must be stated. Instead, the mark of the friendship is one of character. Both men, sons of the king in their own right, were willing to sacrifice for the other. It is clear that David wanted to give Jonathan peace of mind and surety as to his abandonment of post. It was important for him that Jonathan be able to understand. He was willing to be in harm’s way to accomplish this. Jonathan was willing to lose his claim to the throne. What is also clear is that their friendship and mutual respect were founded on their relationship with God. Both understood that neither was entitled to the throne of their own merit. They both were playing the hands that had been dealt and held no ill will toward the other for it. Our friendships should be based around this mutual respect for God’s will as well. We should desire what is best for the other person, self-sacrificially, and that thing ought to be determined by God and not ourselves or our ambitions. This is what creates the respect necessary to form covenant bonds among God’s men and women.

True Friendship: Jonathan and David’s friendship, as described in the passage, is characterized by selflessness, mutual respect, and a shared understanding of God’s will.

Love and Sacrifice: The passage emphasizes the importance of loving one’s neighbor as oneself, highlighting Jonathan and David’s willingness to sacrifice for each other’s well-being.

Foundation of Friendship: True friendship should be built on a mutual respect for God’s will, prioritizing the other person’s best interests over personal ambitions.