WHY

Why do I care?

Why torture Myself with an inverted stare?

Is plunging into insanity really worth a glimpse at the depths of my mind?

Should I consume

My life with constantly stepping

Over chards

And scraps

And bits of glass?

Can I really be the tie that binds?

Is my attempt in futility;

A practice which can never achieve fluidity?

Only frustration fills all voids that I willfully tread.

But if life is anticipation of dread

Than that is not life,

And I am the living dead.

TOKEN

Will nothing I do ever be enough for anyone?

Have I created a standard with a price so high that it cannot be completed?

Can no one repeat that which is honorable for the sake of honor?

Must I always be the arbiter:

the lamb for the slaughter?

Do you need me to be your staff along the less traveled path?

Stand alone, and walk yourself!

For I am hastening unto death.

I must rest or be broken;

A token of your inability to care.

TIRED

Tired.

Uninspired.

Monotony.

Autonomy failing,

Sanity derailing.

Humbleness trailing.

Sobbing and wailing.

Crying.

Dying.

Dead,

Tired.

THE SAIL

Words can not comprehend

Or extend the relevance of feeling.

The ability to relate to irrational thought

Provokes the mind to invoke it’s spirit into flight.

Summoning the night to bow down to morning glory.

Feeling is the path which the wind inspires.

Moving a wooden leviathan across a sea of life…

For the rudder cannot guide the ship without the explosive wind,

Anymore than a person can act without a reason to do so.

They are a perfect union;

Completing the journey and establishing fulfillment.

Bringing relevance to insanity,

Giving every journey hope.

THE RUDDER

The power of conclusion is masked in the smallest member of its body.

Its outcome is the path chosen least for it is a force foreign in a troublesome sea.

A stranger thrust into a sea of dissolution,

Its surface mauled by false conclusions.

It stands strong in the wake of itself,

The firm foundation of momentum.

Madness is revealed as genius in its path

Its aftermath

Is tried but true.

The hand of celestial bodies

In a terrestrial world.

The very essence of the journey

Unfurled

Bringing hope into tangible

Reality.

THE ROCK

My essence is a haven to everyone but me,

For in it’s presence I find everyone else;

I am never alone.

Not a solitary thought is left undisturbed by the trampling of children’s feet.

No sleep is attainable for rest is a waking dream;

A vision of even a moment alone.

No peace can I find within for I am never able to leave, to live, to love,

Anyone but them.

THE REASON

Who am I to know why God uses you?

Mine eyes are open to his voice.

They are seeking his choice for eternal fulfillment.

Someone to know me more than I know them…

Better than I know me.

The one who will complete and compel… to challenge and dispel all that is hurtful.

And to inspire me through quiet force and relevant respect to detect my internal malevolence

To correct my blindness, and encourage love to task my life for theirs.

THE MULTIPLE LAYERS OF INTELLIGENT DESIGN

The lord works in mysterious ways

He surveys what he wills

He deals with whom he wants

He is his own dawn,

Existence in and of himself.

His art is witnessed in layered design,

And even a glimpse would suffer the mind to even grasp

Its tiniest member.

But his lowest member suffered for me that I might fathom beyond the shallow depths of inherent perception…

For he saves whom he wants

And every conception

Of worth is brought forth

As grace as we birth anew.

THE MENTAL LEAP

Personified Potential,

Recognized by human form;

Given volume by the molding of love.

She has a name… yet she has no past

That defines her course,

Or drives her scars deep into her heart.

Instead she is able to move forward

Perfecting thought and emotion;

She is the mental leap.

No atrophy persists in her evolution,

For her every thought is the solution to all enigmas,

If only in idea.

If only in vanity she reconciles her humanity

In staggered embrace of knowledge shown.

She is in essence completion;

Personified potential.

THE JOURNEY

I had everything.

Capable of no influenced entropy,

I had arrived.

The knowledge of libraries didn’t compare to my reasoning. Every season marked the new beginning of all but me for my accomplishments

Had amounted to

Potentials end.

I pushed the world away,

And bitterly mocked its fraternity of

Ignorance.

Yet I was lacking.

Fixed on a trance of a savior’s destiny, I sought to be a conduit to God.

And they would applaud my intentions.

I convinced my self that conventions were nigh as the hand of the almighty.

But through circumstances divine

The almighty moved against

Me with his hand.

My trance realized as a foolish game…

And the only shame was brought to my name

Branding me with the stench of my pride.

I had nothing left but what God had left me,

And in recognition; I was set free, given  a second chance, to abide in his will.

For seven years I had been waiting and wondering pondering

If my stumbling was to great

For

Recompense.

For no vision or plan

Had relieved the suffering of

Bringing disdain

To his name.

Until I came on bended knee in acceptance of the power of me:

There was not I could do for even myself for the books in my library were unread,

And my actions screamed my faith as dead.

And yet from the instant my soul cried, and angel

Was sent to my side

To enlighten a humbled soul.

In believing myself to be once again whole…

I set faith and hope as my compass.

I took refuge in thought and history but my soul was wrought for the angel was silent still.

There is comfort in knowing God stands beside you and the screaming took solace of this fact,

And in a still small voice

The angel spoke to me

Fulfilling what I lacked.

It continues to temper in thoughtful patience despite the patience it takes.

For every lesson widens my eyes to what is at stake,

But the greatest epiphany

I’ve been shown defines the actions I must make.

It redefines my present,

By erasing my past like the wind casting grass to and fro.

For I am nothing more than that, if I have not love,

My actions are meaningless, though they are faithful.

Though all knowledge surpasses the stars in the sky;

Ungrateful are the recipients,

And bitter is the taste

If not given in love.

Though hope is the essence of all reconciliation love is the consolation of commitment…

And to this end the angel spoke

Displaying what it said.

For I was brought closer still.

Reconciliation with the dead.

And I understood even more because I had been told that my knowledge equaled nothing,

A concept cold

But warmth unfolded about me.

And so with selfish infatuation

I pleaded with the angel

To stay, To teach me all that it knew,

To form me like clay.

But God was not done with me for his angel was not him

And I had mistaken the creation

For the creator once again.

God’s presence was still about me,

Removing any doubt of his love,

But the angel could never touch this earthen vessel forcing me to ever look above for true love.

And though it took sacrifice everlasting…

I finally have everything.