Why is that people get creeped by other people being geniunely authentically invested. I’m sure that there is a combination of multiple things at play here… and not to get all Mayberry on our proverbial asses, but I have to wonder why it is that when a neighbor extends a hand beyond the fortresses lining our urban landscape… we get creeped. My wife and I spend quite a bit of time with mid to late adolescents, and the apparent and glaring truth of the world we live in seems to be that it is not kosher to care about people in a way which is inviting, hospitable, and authentically you. Why do social norms include in them a taboo on playing video games, watching netflix, eating dinner, and talking about life with people who are in a different generation? Why is it that its not okay for a kid to crash on my perfectly respectable couch if he’s tired? Why is it not right for grown men and women to hang out and impart a little wisdom on younger generations who could use a little support now and then from people who figured out how to get where they wanted to be in life? Why can’t we want friendship without having some insidious or off kilter neurosis lurking behind our curtain of hospitality?

All of these questions disturb me to no end… but here’s a few that disturb me more. Why do parents discourage activities like these, but stray away from confronting their children with behaviors that are unhealthy like smoking, drinking, and premature sexual exploration? Why do parents pretend to care about their kids, but not check their myspaces, facebooks, cellphone logs, twitters or other rediculously open ended social networking tools? Who the fuck says to their kids that people who are straighter than straightedge must be freaks, but you should go hang out with non-established kids with drinking problems at fucking frat houses with kids who write songs about drinking and partying? Who the fuck are these parents trying to impress? The truth of the matter is that my wife and I shouldn’t have to answer legal questions for kids who get in fights and ruin their new nose job which itself came about from falling down a flight of stairs after a binge of drinking in the middle of a fucking snow storm. We shouldn’t have to leave work to come pick up little girls from parties when the cops show up, and then argue with their parents about whether they should be allowed to drink or go with their boyfriends to kegers. We shouldn’t have to take children to the local Planned Parenthood to make sure their not infected with a fucking STD or getting themselves pregnant. We shouldn’t have to talk with kids for hours on end about how their mommys are fat and lazy and their dad’s cheat on their mom’s. We shouldn’t have to go to people’s swim meets, and plays and not see a parent present. We shouldn’t have to teach kids for half of what were promised and then get fired when they don’t like that we recognize that kids are people too in a fucking email. We don’t need to pay for people who aren’t our kids because no one else even realizes that kid has no one to pay for them. We don’t need to open a room in our house and take time from our lives to raise the children that everybody forgot.

but we do.

What we do, we do with force, and voracity, tenacity, skill, intent, direction, stamina, and drive… We step with passion to open our lives on all facets to anyone who needs us… We learn how to be good with man and God. We teach what we learn. We provide for those who don’t have. We know the truths about these kids that they don’t dare tell another soul… and in all this… we push reconciliation. We demand a standard of authenticity. We ask these kids to learn healthy relationship with everyone… including their parents… correct the legacy where its gone wrong, push the legacy further where its right. Take a sad song and make it better… always better.

and yet we’re the freaks? We’re the outcasts? 

thanks. Maybe parents should put a little time in getting to know, the babies they wound up and let go and we wouldn’t be having this problem… but probably not… because bitching and gossiping is easier than accepting responsibility and learning to be an adult… that should tell you something… kids come to us because they want to learn how to be an adult, to accept responsibility and control freedom… be right with God and man in a healthy cohesive worldview. That’s what we provide. That’s what we do in our family. 

If you’re offended by the fact that this is how it is, that this is how it has to be… That we are not just another “normal” couple involved in “normal” things and minding our own fucking business… if you’re offended that this is the way it has to be… then that’s a start, cause guess what… so am I.

Published by Josh McGary

MY NAME IS JOSH MCGARY. First, I am a Pastor of a small church in Portland, Oregon named Aletheia Bible Fellowship. We call it ABF. I have been a pastor there for the better part of 20 years. I am very eclectic. What I love, I love loudly and immersively. I have notable collections of toys, funko pops, and vinyl. I also infamously love pop culture, comic books, technology, the arts, psychology and philosophy.

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